Tips for Success: How NOT to Cheat
Since when did teachers actually read our essays? Throughout the rest of elementary, I could turn in my first draft and still got an A. This time, I wrote like four different ones, and I still failed. Perhaps I need some more explanation.
So our history teacher decided to assign us an essay on the following topic: "Which past empire or country, in your opinion, was the best in the world?" Thankfully, the topic was for a paper that I wrote last year, so I was just going to "recycle" it. Ah, the good old Mayans. The ones who predicted the "end of the world" in 2012. I guess they aren't the best after all. Whoops. Well, I got an A on that essay, so I should, in theory, receive the same grade. Logical, right? This was before the days of turnitin.com, so it would be pretty hard to get caught. Spoiler alert: I get caught. Anyway, during recess, I tell this to my friend, Michael. Since he’s lazy and I’m smart, he said that he would pay me if I wrote his essay. Easy money. Adjusting for inflation from five years ago, I would have had like $5.40. Back in early 2008, $5 could buy you more than 2 gallons of gas (though nowadays, you can barely get one with that amount). To a sixth grader, that’s a lot of money. So naturally, I agreed.
Word spread quickly across the playground, though. Man, Gossip Girl should take place in elementary school, not high school. The amount of gossip that goes around is insane. Though to be fair, I have never seen that show. Besides what the title implies and a quick Wikipedia search, I know nothing more about that show. Within that same day, I got offers from five other people. Some offered to pay, others just expected After the third essay, however, I got tired of writing, so I foolishly decided it would be good enough for the seven of us.to get it free. Being the nice and naïve person I am, I agreed regardless if they paid me or not. And so, once I got home, I started writing. After the third essay, however, I got tired of writing, so I foolishly decided it would be good enough for the seven of us. And so, I gave unique essays to two of my friends and just printed extra copies, but changing the introduction, for the rest. And of course, two of them got off scot-free, and the other five got caught, including myself. Why the hell would I not give myself a unique copy? I guess I wasn't as smart as everyone thought I was.
Fast forward a week or so, and we're all called up to talk to three teachers. The other guy who had the same copy as mine and I were grouped together in a small meeting room. They asked a couple questions. We answered, not truthfully, but we still answered. The teachers knew something was up, and I think they believed our story, that we just worked together and decided to write our own introductions. The other three who had the other version were also called up and gave the same exact story. Not suspicious in the slightest. And so, after school, we waited outside for our parents to pick us up. Almost thirty minutes passed since school ended, and neither of our parents has shown up yet. Why were they so late? They were in the office talking to our teachers and principal. Awesome. They seemed to work out how they would handle this "crime." What happened to our amendments? Right to a fair and speedy trial? I didn't get any of that. Anyway, on with the results of their discussion.
Crime? Academic dishonesty. The verdict? Guilty. Sentenced to OCS (on campus suspension) for three days, meaning I had to miss the annual sixth-graders vs staff baseball game and had to rewrite the essay under teacher supervision. Pretty light if you ask me. The ride home was probably the worst part. Dead silence. Once we got home, though, boy did my parents explode. The lecture brought them to tears (probably of anger and/or disappointment). I don't remember a word they said. But it was a learning experience. I could now effectively argue why the Mayans, Aztecs, Romans, Greeks, or Egyptians, were the best ancient civilization in the world. I learned what my friends thought of me. The fact that all of stayed good friends speaks for itself. But the most important lesson I learned was...
Don’t get caught cheating.
So our history teacher decided to assign us an essay on the following topic: "Which past empire or country, in your opinion, was the best in the world?" Thankfully, the topic was for a paper that I wrote last year, so I was just going to "recycle" it. Ah, the good old Mayans. The ones who predicted the "end of the world" in 2012. I guess they aren't the best after all. Whoops. Well, I got an A on that essay, so I should, in theory, receive the same grade. Logical, right? This was before the days of turnitin.com, so it would be pretty hard to get caught. Spoiler alert: I get caught. Anyway, during recess, I tell this to my friend, Michael. Since he’s lazy and I’m smart, he said that he would pay me if I wrote his essay. Easy money. Adjusting for inflation from five years ago, I would have had like $5.40. Back in early 2008, $5 could buy you more than 2 gallons of gas (though nowadays, you can barely get one with that amount). To a sixth grader, that’s a lot of money. So naturally, I agreed.
Word spread quickly across the playground, though. Man, Gossip Girl should take place in elementary school, not high school. The amount of gossip that goes around is insane. Though to be fair, I have never seen that show. Besides what the title implies and a quick Wikipedia search, I know nothing more about that show. Within that same day, I got offers from five other people. Some offered to pay, others just expected After the third essay, however, I got tired of writing, so I foolishly decided it would be good enough for the seven of us.to get it free. Being the nice and naïve person I am, I agreed regardless if they paid me or not. And so, once I got home, I started writing. After the third essay, however, I got tired of writing, so I foolishly decided it would be good enough for the seven of us. And so, I gave unique essays to two of my friends and just printed extra copies, but changing the introduction, for the rest. And of course, two of them got off scot-free, and the other five got caught, including myself. Why the hell would I not give myself a unique copy? I guess I wasn't as smart as everyone thought I was.
Fast forward a week or so, and we're all called up to talk to three teachers. The other guy who had the same copy as mine and I were grouped together in a small meeting room. They asked a couple questions. We answered, not truthfully, but we still answered. The teachers knew something was up, and I think they believed our story, that we just worked together and decided to write our own introductions. The other three who had the other version were also called up and gave the same exact story. Not suspicious in the slightest. And so, after school, we waited outside for our parents to pick us up. Almost thirty minutes passed since school ended, and neither of our parents has shown up yet. Why were they so late? They were in the office talking to our teachers and principal. Awesome. They seemed to work out how they would handle this "crime." What happened to our amendments? Right to a fair and speedy trial? I didn't get any of that. Anyway, on with the results of their discussion.
Crime? Academic dishonesty. The verdict? Guilty. Sentenced to OCS (on campus suspension) for three days, meaning I had to miss the annual sixth-graders vs staff baseball game and had to rewrite the essay under teacher supervision. Pretty light if you ask me. The ride home was probably the worst part. Dead silence. Once we got home, though, boy did my parents explode. The lecture brought them to tears (probably of anger and/or disappointment). I don't remember a word they said. But it was a learning experience. I could now effectively argue why the Mayans, Aztecs, Romans, Greeks, or Egyptians, were the best ancient civilization in the world. I learned what my friends thought of me. The fact that all of stayed good friends speaks for itself. But the most important lesson I learned was...
Don’t get caught cheating.